A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold

The mere mention of Columbine sparks horrific images of the, perhaps, most emblematic school shooting in American history. It was a story of two bullied young men who turned their torment into murderous rage--right?

Sue Klebold is the mother of one of the Columbine shooters (Dylan Klebold). She tasked herself with writing this memoir, not to clear her name or her son's, but to share signs she and her husband missed regarding their son. Dylan was struggling, to be sure, but Klebold and her husband thought it was typical teen boy malaise, not deeply disturbing and prejudiced fury.

Klebold, and the author of the foreword (Dr. Andrew Solomon) propose a more disturbing theory than negligent or even abusive parents shoving their children into violent tendencies. What if, they propose, many parents cannot tell that their children are about to cause catastrophe? What if, despite trying your best, your child will end lives and cause irreparable harm to many others?

Klebold never pretends that Dylan was a perfect child, perfect teen, but also not a perfect villain. She looks back regretfully on moments where, perhaps, she could have reached out to him and made him fully understand how much he was cherished in this world. Alas, Klebold fully understands that her child, whom she still loves, ended lives by his own choice--including his own.

While, unavoidably, A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy is immensely tragic, it is also a firm warning. We would all love to think that if we love everyone in our lives enough, no harm can come to them nor will they do any harm. But rarely is life that simple. While, of course, some who are abused become abusers or even murderers, sometimes those who have loving parents still feel misunderstood, unseen, and unloved--which can then lead to the worst outcomes possible.

Klebold wrote her memoir for many reasons: to encourage parents to not take any brain health warning sign lightly, to apologize to anyone who is willing to listen for not seeing what her son was planning, and to declare, despite the limitless evil that he inflicted, she still loves and misses the son she knew.

Dire, deep, and discerning, A Mother's Reckoning is a vital read.

A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold, Crown